nishatalitha

I am so incredibly tired. It's partially my own fault - I really shouldn't have read a short book after I stopped watching maudlinrose playing Civ III at midnight. But I wasn't tired, and normally reading for a little while I have my hot chocolate in bed helps me to relax enough to sleep.

Only, last night it didn't. If there was a clock in my room which struck the hour (which there never will be because any ticking keeps me awake), I would have heard it strike 1am. And half past that hour. Sometime after then, after wandering around the house and annoying the cat a little (but not too much because the last set of nasty scratches I got are still healing, since they got infected), I feel asleep.

Normally, this would be fine. I would sleep peacefully and wake up in the morning feeling much more refreshed. Only, this morning, as I sometimes do, I dreamt. And I knew I was dreaming, and that there was the possibility of lucid dreaming, only I was convinced I was dreaming about something that had really happened. I dreamt that for some reason, perhaps even accidentally, I had resigned from my job with no plan or job to go to. And even in the dream, my workmates couldn't understand why I would quit after two months, and I certainly couldn't explain why, because as I kept telling them, I like my job and my team mates, and I don't want to leave. I know I burst into tears at one point in the dream (although my face was dry when I woke). For some reason, when I left, I had to pay work back for my new glasses, and I was all stressed about money and the like. I think that was when I started crying. And then there was something about schedules. Because schedules often turn up in my dreams. Work didn't even pay for my glasses, except in the sense of, you know, paying me for doing my job.

So I woke weary, and had my cup of tea before work, and did some work while trying not to fall asleep, and had a cup of coffee at morning break, and did some more work (same as before), and had a bottle of V at lunch, and did more work (different work) and had a cup of coffee at afternoon tea. Which doesn't sound too bad, comparatively, but I tend to have a cup of tea before work, and at morning and afternoon tea, and nothing at lunch, so I've been either going up onto or coming down from a caffeine high all day, which sucks.

Had a cup of tea this evening, which helped.

My head is buzzing at the back of my skull, and my eyes feel dry, and I think my brain feels like the my icon, especially at the back of my head, and I can really tell how tired I am by the fact that I'm both babbling and using lots of run on sentences with 'and' as the conjoining word, which I prefer not to use, because I think it sounds repetitive and silly. I'm typing faster than I think for the most part, but that's okay, because I usually do that.

quoth_the_ravyn I think it's going to be at least tomorrow before I even look at your drabbles. I shall try and write a character or two for the Hindenburg tomorrow night, too. I'm going to go to bed and die shortly.

Yesterday morning, when I woke up, "Zombies. Brains." were going through my head. This was somewhat startling, and contributed to the speed at which I got up. This morning, it was Handel's Complete Orchestral Works, because that's all I've been playing for the last two days.

What makes it really strange is that I'm not really an aural person. Sure, I like music, and I'm learning what I like and don't like, but when you get down to it, if I had to choose between loosing my sight and loosing my hearing, I'd rather go deaf. So for the last couple of days, waking up to sound in my head instead of colour has been odd. I tend to dream in colour. Strong, vivid colour is always unusual, but there is always some colour, centered around the main focus of the dream. Sometimes, very occasionally, another sense will accompany the visual in the deam, but it is rare for another sense to be the main one. Which is why the other startling thing about waking up to "Zombies. Brains." was that there was no visual picture to go with it, and why I wasn't as scared as I could've been. Still wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't scary.

I'm now listening to the Serenity OST. Soon, I will go and do things, like make my bed, and put my clean clothes away. Put more books away. Eat crumpets. Drink tea. Start reading Blade of Tyshalle, the sequal to Heroes Die, the book about insane LARPers. I should really post last weeks kitten pictures, too...

My sister and I are currently trading emails that go roughly along these lines:

K: What do you want for Christmas?
J: What do you think I want for Christmas? What do you want for Christmas?
K: I don't know what you want for Christmas, you tell me. I can give you a list of what I want for Christmas if you want?

I am waiting to see her response.